


Tony Stark's House of Dinosaurs

by nobutsiriuslywhat



Series: The Raptorverse [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Jurassic Park (Movies), Jurassic World (2015), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dinosaurs, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 23:22:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5024653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobutsiriuslywhat/pseuds/nobutsiriuslywhat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The baby dinosaurs were not cute. And they absolutely were NOT keeping them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tony Stark's House of Dinosaurs

After taking a cursory tour of the damage, Tony went to find Cap, the other leader of their ragtag team. He walked over to where Steve had planted himself on the ground, carefully stepping arounds piles of trash and destroyed fencing. “Capsicle, please tell me you aren’t doing what I think you’re doing.”

A pause.

Then, “I’m not doing what you think I’m doing.”

“Oh man,” Tony moaned, “do you know how _big_ those things get. No, Steve.”

Uh oh. Tony used his actual first name and not a snarky nickname.

Steve paused again. Then, quieter, “I’m not doing what you think I’m doing?”

What Steve was resolutely _not doing_ , was feeding a baby apatosaurus in what was left of the trampled Gentle Giants Petting Zoo. He definitely did _not_ have the small dinosaur snug in his lap and he was, for sure, _not_ feeding it a large eucalyptus leaf.

Those were things that were not happening.

Goddamn it.

“Steve. Cap. Buddy. Don’t get attached to them, we’re going to be leaving soon,” Tony said, softening his usual callousness. The dinosaur was definitely _not_ pretty adorable.

Definitely not.

Steve turned to look up at the billionaire, all puppy dog eyes and earnestness. “We can’t just _leave_ them. There’s no one here to take care of them. They’re so little.” The last was murmured as he looked down at the animal in his lap. The apatosaur looked up at him, a tiny bit of leaf sticking out of its mouth, and leaned forward to rest its head under Steve’s chin.

If it was possible, the puppy dog look that Steve threw his way was even louder. “Okay, but they’re not going to stay little forever. That one grows to be one of the largest dinosaurs on this island. Top three, for sure.”

“I swear to God, that fucking thing imprinted on him,” Bucky called as he strode over, something small and wiggling held in his metal arm.

“Not you, too!” Tony shouted, pointing. “Is there something in the air here? Put that whatever-it-is down, and step away.” He pointed to the ground, snapping for good measure.

Bucky glared. “It’s an edmontosaurus. Herbivore. Primary diet includes fruits and vegetables. If you know what those are.”

“I know what they are,” Tony grumbled. “What, did you read the fucking brochure?”

“…maybe. Fuck you, I found him wandering near the Visitor Center. I couldn’t just fucking leave him there,” Bucky answered, the look on his face daring Tony to say something else.

He turned back to Steve. “That is not a baby duck, it can’t imprint on you like you’re its mother. Put Little Foot down and walk away.”

“Little Foot?” Steve asked, as he stroked the elongated neck, the dinosaur seemed to be drifting off to sleep.

Well, it had had a long day.

“Little Foot. Land Before Time? Dinosaur gets orphaned? Wanders around for, like, way too many movies?” Tony sighed. “Whatever. Either way. You can’t keep it.”

Steve hummed and looked down, “I shall call you Little Foot, and you shall be my Little Foot.”

“Come on!” Tony stamped his foot, “ _That’s_ the movie reference you get?”

There was a squeak. Or was it a squawk? Whatever, there was a tiny startled noise from the ground.

Tony looked down.

Right by his foot, the one he stamped when he was throwing his man-fit, was a hesitant looking, tiny, _not cute_ , triceratops.

It was looking up at him, all wide-eyed wonder, front foot raised as it slowly, carefully, took another step forward, taking it flush with the front of his legs. It leaned against him for a moment before plopping down. On his foot.

 _Not_ fucking cute.

Now Tony was the one squawking. “But I don’t want a dinorsaur!”

Tony most definitely did _not_ reach down to give those tiny horns a pet. And it didn’t look up at him with those big, blinking eyes. It gave a little yowl as it stared at him. “Stop looking at me,” he hissed. “I’m not your mama duck.”

It blinked again and wiggled, sliding off of his foot. It grunted as it sat up again.

“Yeah, look who has a baby duck, now, Stark. Congratulations, it’s a boy.” Bucky smirked from his place on the ground. At some point in the last thirty seconds, he had taken up residence next to Steve and had produced, from who knows where, a container of strawberries. That he was feeding to his dinosaur.

 _The_ dinosaur. Not _his_ dinosaur. Because they absolutely, one hundred percent, were not keeping these.

Tony sighed, and pulled out his phone. “Pepper, my love, my darling, my everything. What? No, I’m not in trouble. (Bucky snorted.) No, the big scary dinosaur did _not_ eat Darcy. She’s fine. Having sex right now, in fact. Probably. (Steve glared.) No, would you – okay, but listen. I need to buy an island. With dinosaurs. Please. (They could hear Pepper yelling through the phone.) Just…please? (Less yelling.) Their stocks are going to be trash come opening bell. If I promise to be a responsible dinosaur owner, will you say yes?”

He took the phone away from his ear and looked at it. “Huh. She hung up. That’s just her way of saying yes.” He looked down at the triceratops that was now nuzzling his calf. “Looks like Stark Industries is acquiring new property. We’ll turn it into preserved land. No more theme park, no more tourists. We’ll hire whatever experts we can to take over running this place daily. But we will _not_ be bringing any of them home with us.”

Bucky and Steve were looking at him, rapt with attention. They started nodding as he was explaining the plan. After Tony was done, Steve looked down, “Did you hear that, Little Foot? They’re gonna take good care of you. Yes, they are.”

He gave it scritches.

The thing was fast asleep.

Bucky was the one to ask, “Where do you even find dinosaur experts? Gonna have to pay them the big bucks, to get them back here.”

Before he could give an answer, there was a shout from behind them:

“TONY FUCKING STARK. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY NIECE?”


End file.
